I was working on Vampire Dawn (name change pending) but was having a bit of trouble with the prologue. It kept nagging at me like Jehovah’s witnesses on a Sunday afternoon. No matter how much work I did on the other pages and how far I’d gone, I would hear it’s call and be forced to guide the cursor up to the beginning and re-read the prologue. I read it so many times that I could recite it in my sleep.
The feeling begun to set in that the pages needed drastic editing. But I didn’t know what to do. I just knew something was wrong with those five pages of prologue and that they screwed up the first half of the book.
Sunday morning I was in the kitchen fixing tea when suddenly it came to me – five pages of prologue had to be condensed to one and the deleted parts scattered throughout the first half of the book. I got right to it and edited the shit out of that baby. When I was done, I read it through and thought, good stuff.
Thing is, now that I’ve done it I realize that all along I knew what had to be done but just didn’t have the guts to do it. I’m flying on a hope and a prayer writing this novel. Sometimes I don’t have a clue but press on regardless. Other times, I’m too caught up and like a mother, refuse to admit the child is bad and must be punished...or in this case, done away with. The effort to redo is daunting. I procrastinate, I bitch and I groan, but eventually, I get to it. The creative process can truly be hell.
The prologue was condensed and I’ve begun placing things where they should have been in the first place. Truth be told, I’ve known I needed to do this from the moment I finished this version of the draft in May. As a matter of fact, if I were completely honest, I would say I knew it from the moment I expanded what was originally a one page prologue into five. Ridiculous, huh? But I had to do it, to know that it really should be one page.
Writing the novel is like writing the story of my life – not the tale but the process. I am a terrible procrastinator and then again I can be dangerously spontaneous; so dangerous that I suppress that part of my instinct in favour of the other. I have to. I’ve seen the results of my spontaneity and let me tell you, it often isn’t pretty, despite the pleasure of the moment. But no matter how I suppress this ‘wild’ side, somehow a bit of it always stabs through, like in my writing.
The best short stories I’ve written – at least I think so – are those done on a Sunday morning when inspiration usually strikes in the middle of making tea when the house is deadly quiet and I’m standing by the kitchen window peering out at the little view I have of the distant mountains. I would rush to the computer and start writing. One hour later, I would have the first draft of something special. The same thing has happen for novel ideas or the name of a novel. Funny, isn’t it, that the thing I suppress the most, can produce something good in one aspect of my life and dread in another. I’m a walking conundrum. The medical journals must have a name for this.
But, back to Vampire Dawn. There are aspects in the middle – the hated middle – that I need to tie up and others that must be clear. I have to go through the first half and make sure the story builds properly and is explained in preparation for the second half – the story’s sort of complicated and to get everything, certain key points must be explained. That’s the thing with science fiction, you have to make sure the ground rules are laid and then play by them and in my case it has to be done in the first part if the second is to be accepted.
The novel is divided into three books: Book I: Spark of Life, Book II: The Dawning and Book III: Awake!
Book III is actually the epilogue – of course it’s one page and I’m not about to change it (lol!) – and will eventually be the beginning of the next book in the series. It will be the real third book because I plan to write the prequel to Vampire Dawn entitled The Cauldron. (Hey! I just thought of that. I think I’ll keep it.) Vampire Dawn fittingly has 13 chapters spread across the three books.
Told you it was complicated.
I use a verse or quote at the beginning of each book and I just thought of the one I’ll use for Awake!
I see the sun
Rise up before me
And I think,
God of man
You,
Are a magnificent
One!
I just created it and wrote it on a piece of paper I have beside the computer – truly, I did. (There’s a hidden gem and if you can figure it out, drop me a line.)
If you ever get to read my novel, you’ll understand why this would be quite appropriate for the protagonist to say, even though he is a vampire.
To summarize, the plan is, when I’m done with all three books I’ll have: The Cauldron, Vampire Dawn (to be renamed) and Vampire Awake! Neat, right? Yeah. I think so too.
My juices are flowing and I feel energized like I could write for the entire day. But as it is with the world, I have to stop to go earn a living.
So until next time, I bid you adieu, adieu.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
I'm back!!
The song The Shining by Badly Drawn Boy has a verse in it that says:
But now I’m dry of thoughts
Wait for the rain
Then it’s replaced
Sun setting
And suddenly you’re in love with everything
These five lines sum up the way I’ve been feeling these past three months since I’ve blogged. I could say that I was working on some grand project or taking a break to fuel creativity but it wouldn’t be true. I’ve been in a fog this past year and have had to push myself extremely hard to get by. It’s been particularly difficult his summer. I wrote and read nothing of substance because I felt it important to let my mind run free, otherwise I would be in serious trouble. I did spend the time watching a lot of movies – and I mean a lot! In watching movies I had the opportunity to observe other people’s lives without having to be involved or responsible. It took away some of the pressure.
“My rain has come and my sun has set and suddenly, I’m in love with everything.” What a beautiful thought.
For me, this translated to what I felt was best to get me through the dark time. I needed to be immersed in my troubles and in my self so I could once again see the true me. I know my strengths and my short-comings and while some may be shameful, I am aware and honest, if only to myself.
“But now I’m dry of thoughts.”
I went to a dark place, and probably still am there, but at least now it feels less dreadful and there’s a lightness around me that’s quite refreshing.
“Wait for the rain. Sun setting.”
I have this new sense of appreciation for all things in this world and no longer see with black or white vision. I get it now that everyone’s different but yet the same, ultimately wanting the peace of mind, comfort, love and respect. I get it too that I can’t impose myself on anyone but must accept that sometimes I won’t get what I think I want.
“And suddenly you’re in love with everything.”
The world cycles itself and history does repeat. What appears to be tragic and hopeless today is tomorrow's past incident. Courage and faith is what gets us through each moment. I must accept and appreciate life for what it is because at the moment, it won’t change. It is what it is.
So what does it all mean? I have not a clue and it doesn’t bother me that I don’t know. What is important is that as hard as it is and as impossible as it seems, I’m trying to pull myself through it.
My sun has set and I am in love with everything.
But now I’m dry of thoughts
Wait for the rain
Then it’s replaced
Sun setting
And suddenly you’re in love with everything
These five lines sum up the way I’ve been feeling these past three months since I’ve blogged. I could say that I was working on some grand project or taking a break to fuel creativity but it wouldn’t be true. I’ve been in a fog this past year and have had to push myself extremely hard to get by. It’s been particularly difficult his summer. I wrote and read nothing of substance because I felt it important to let my mind run free, otherwise I would be in serious trouble. I did spend the time watching a lot of movies – and I mean a lot! In watching movies I had the opportunity to observe other people’s lives without having to be involved or responsible. It took away some of the pressure.
“My rain has come and my sun has set and suddenly, I’m in love with everything.” What a beautiful thought.
For me, this translated to what I felt was best to get me through the dark time. I needed to be immersed in my troubles and in my self so I could once again see the true me. I know my strengths and my short-comings and while some may be shameful, I am aware and honest, if only to myself.
“But now I’m dry of thoughts.”
I went to a dark place, and probably still am there, but at least now it feels less dreadful and there’s a lightness around me that’s quite refreshing.
“Wait for the rain. Sun setting.”
I have this new sense of appreciation for all things in this world and no longer see with black or white vision. I get it now that everyone’s different but yet the same, ultimately wanting the peace of mind, comfort, love and respect. I get it too that I can’t impose myself on anyone but must accept that sometimes I won’t get what I think I want.
“And suddenly you’re in love with everything.”
The world cycles itself and history does repeat. What appears to be tragic and hopeless today is tomorrow's past incident. Courage and faith is what gets us through each moment. I must accept and appreciate life for what it is because at the moment, it won’t change. It is what it is.
So what does it all mean? I have not a clue and it doesn’t bother me that I don’t know. What is important is that as hard as it is and as impossible as it seems, I’m trying to pull myself through it.
My sun has set and I am in love with everything.
Labels:
depression,
honesty with self,
mind break,
returning
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Vampire Dawn - some more revealed - and Picket Fences - my next project
I've finished the first true draft of the vampire novel I'm writing, Vampire Dawn. By the way, the title will have to change because I've discovered another vampire book by the same name. I'm thinking of renaming it The Dawning, The Vampire at Dawn or Re-Birth...something like that. I'll figure it out although I really did like Vampire Dawn.
There are some things I need to work out like Cutter (antagonist) being like a human and what he can do as his 'humanness' reverses and he becomes more like a vampire and is desperate for the new dawning. Likewise, I need to decide what powers Neloc has and how he will use them. (I looked into the name Neloc which I thought I made up but only to find that Nissan has a car by that name with the same spelling -- one more thing I'll have to change.) I also need to work out the distances between the various estates. Sometimes this appears short and other times too far. There's also a scene that I don't know if I'll keep and if I do decide to keep it, then I will have to rework some parts to make it more meaningful.
I entered the first few pages in this online competition. I was a few marks away from the final 3 but I did get good reviews. I had 3 judges -- one gave a low grade but she did go through and offer some good points. While the other two did the same, they gave rather high marks and one sent a personal comment.
At the same time I sent it to the competition, I sent it to an agent in LA and was happy when they asked to read the first few chapters. Then I was deflated when they wrote back and said it wasn't for them but at the bottom of the email was a personal note from one of the owners that said it was an interesting premise and that I should work on it some more and shop it around. So I'm feeling good. I'm going to look at all the comments and apply them to the book and do exactly as advised.
I finished the draft about two weeks ago and decided I would let it sit and start another novel then go back and do an edit. That way I look at it with fresh eyes and will be able to work out some of the things that I couldn't while I was immersed in the story. Even though I'm not working on it daily, I find my thoughts often drift to it as I try to work out aspects of the story.
Writing Vampire Dawn, is a scary yet exciting processe. Scary because I think I may never get it published and also that I may not present it the way I know it should be presented. The excitement comes because I really do like the challenge of creating the story that's different from anything that's on the market. Then I get scared again because I know the literary world is going through a vampire phase that will soon be over. If that happens, I may have to put it down and hope the phase returns in the next century, as it has done many times in the past.
The story I'm working on is called Picket Fences and it's about 4 friends (as always) who lead dramatically different lives and have the strangest relationships that best friends can have and still call themselves friends. It's about women who have no illusion that there are no picket fences in life, but still they try for no other reason than it's what they were raised to believe. And of course, as it always does, that seed of a dream, planted when they were little girls in their mothers' arms, prevent them as women from achieving true happiness.
Picket Fences is a story that was published in the Observer as a pure narrative with no prose. The section that was published was a restaurant scene when the friends were talking about the various troubles in their lives. I've used this as the start of the novel and will expand on it. The story is told from each woman's perspective and all together as they try to surpass some hurdle.
I have a lot to do and so I'm off to write. Until next time.
There are some things I need to work out like Cutter (antagonist) being like a human and what he can do as his 'humanness' reverses and he becomes more like a vampire and is desperate for the new dawning. Likewise, I need to decide what powers Neloc has and how he will use them. (I looked into the name Neloc which I thought I made up but only to find that Nissan has a car by that name with the same spelling -- one more thing I'll have to change.) I also need to work out the distances between the various estates. Sometimes this appears short and other times too far. There's also a scene that I don't know if I'll keep and if I do decide to keep it, then I will have to rework some parts to make it more meaningful.
I entered the first few pages in this online competition. I was a few marks away from the final 3 but I did get good reviews. I had 3 judges -- one gave a low grade but she did go through and offer some good points. While the other two did the same, they gave rather high marks and one sent a personal comment.
At the same time I sent it to the competition, I sent it to an agent in LA and was happy when they asked to read the first few chapters. Then I was deflated when they wrote back and said it wasn't for them but at the bottom of the email was a personal note from one of the owners that said it was an interesting premise and that I should work on it some more and shop it around. So I'm feeling good. I'm going to look at all the comments and apply them to the book and do exactly as advised.
I finished the draft about two weeks ago and decided I would let it sit and start another novel then go back and do an edit. That way I look at it with fresh eyes and will be able to work out some of the things that I couldn't while I was immersed in the story. Even though I'm not working on it daily, I find my thoughts often drift to it as I try to work out aspects of the story.
Writing Vampire Dawn, is a scary yet exciting processe. Scary because I think I may never get it published and also that I may not present it the way I know it should be presented. The excitement comes because I really do like the challenge of creating the story that's different from anything that's on the market. Then I get scared again because I know the literary world is going through a vampire phase that will soon be over. If that happens, I may have to put it down and hope the phase returns in the next century, as it has done many times in the past.
The story I'm working on is called Picket Fences and it's about 4 friends (as always) who lead dramatically different lives and have the strangest relationships that best friends can have and still call themselves friends. It's about women who have no illusion that there are no picket fences in life, but still they try for no other reason than it's what they were raised to believe. And of course, as it always does, that seed of a dream, planted when they were little girls in their mothers' arms, prevent them as women from achieving true happiness.
Picket Fences is a story that was published in the Observer as a pure narrative with no prose. The section that was published was a restaurant scene when the friends were talking about the various troubles in their lives. I've used this as the start of the novel and will expand on it. The story is told from each woman's perspective and all together as they try to surpass some hurdle.
I have a lot to do and so I'm off to write. Until next time.
The Last Oprah Show
Surprisingly, I can't wait to watch the last three Oprah shows. I say surprisingly because before April, I hadn't watched the show in months except for now and again if I was scanning channels and came across it. And so I'm a bit taken aback that I have this sense of nostalgia about the show and feel like I'm truly going to miss it. I think part of it is the loss of something familiar. I've always thought it would be on and now and again she'll bring someone interesting and I would watch; now there's no such option, unless I'm watching reruns.
I can't identify any talk show or other that will fill the void of Oprah. Like her or not, she really was a remarkable woman and one who knew when to call it quits. I like that she did it while she was on top. I like also that the media was never able to get one over her and that she followed the basic rule of PR - tell it all before they find out. That way there's nothing to scoop and interest will wane. I like it too that she wasn't afraid to show her weaknesses even with the roller-coaster ride of her weight.
For a woman to create something so simple and so overdone as a talk-show and take it to the level it has reached is truly remarkable. She will go down in history as an icon and someone to be remembered for a long, long time. Her largess and ability to 'force' others to be equally generous is unprecedented. She started a trend of giving that other talk shows tried to imitate but could not equal. Those who have been fortunate enough to be on her shows for one of the big give-aways must truly treasure the moment.
For the final show, I'm planning a one-woman Oprah party. I'll mix up a cocktail take a seat and enjoy. I will miss you, Oprah!
I can't identify any talk show or other that will fill the void of Oprah. Like her or not, she really was a remarkable woman and one who knew when to call it quits. I like that she did it while she was on top. I like also that the media was never able to get one over her and that she followed the basic rule of PR - tell it all before they find out. That way there's nothing to scoop and interest will wane. I like it too that she wasn't afraid to show her weaknesses even with the roller-coaster ride of her weight.
For a woman to create something so simple and so overdone as a talk-show and take it to the level it has reached is truly remarkable. She will go down in history as an icon and someone to be remembered for a long, long time. Her largess and ability to 'force' others to be equally generous is unprecedented. She started a trend of giving that other talk shows tried to imitate but could not equal. Those who have been fortunate enough to be on her shows for one of the big give-aways must truly treasure the moment.
For the final show, I'm planning a one-woman Oprah party. I'll mix up a cocktail take a seat and enjoy. I will miss you, Oprah!
Monday, April 25, 2011
True Romance
I’ve long ago admitted to being a romantic. Not a hopeless romantic but a romantic nonetheless.
I puke at the mushy, mushy stuff that bear no resemblance to how love develops in real life. Yes, I do believe in love at first sight, or great attraction, but I’m more convinced if love survives life’s tolls and grow into something more solid than the initial reaction.
Over this Easter holiday, I happened upon a story about that 1990s hit, la Femme Nikita...okay, okay, I didn’t happen on it, I went in search of it. I was trying to work out some romantic scenes in Vampire Dawn and something about Michael and Nikita kept nagging at me. I felt the need to see what interaction between the two characters were like in order to decide how my characters would play against each other. (Plus after watching one episode, I find the new Nikita show a failed cliché.)
Before I get back to Michael and Nikita, let me start off by saying that there are very few romantic novels, movies or television shows that I enjoy. Primarily my interest is more dramatic with a bit of action or problem-solving intellect. I like mysteries and crime novels (with or without romance), first person narrative if the narrator is interesting and of, course anything by Stephen King. I never read a romance novel until I was in my 20s.
My list of romantic moments, written or dramatized are:
First a disclaimer: this list is as I can remember right now. It doesn’t mean that there have not been others or that sometime in the near future the list will not change. So here goes:
I think my most favourite movie is The Bridges of Madison County with Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep. It’s the most sensual movie I have ever seen and starring old people at that!
My other favourites, in no particular order are:
-The English Patient – Ralph Fiennes and Juliet Binoche.
-Sixteen Candles - Molly Ringwald and Justin Henry.
-Bend it like Beckham – Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightely and Jonathan Rhys Myers.
-The Princess Bride – Cary Elwes and Robin Wright.
-The Way We Were – Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford.
-The Horse Whisperer – Robert Redford and Kristin Scott Thomas.
-The Wedding Planner – Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey.
-Something New – Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker.
-Angel Eyes – Jennifer Lopez and James Caveizel.
-Mission Impossible II – Tom Cruise and Thandie Newton.
-The Truth about Charlie – Thandie Newton and Mark Wahlberg.
-Anything adapted from Nicholas Sparks pre Nights in Rodantha, such as Message in a Bottle, A Walk to Remember and The Notebook. Anything now is just mush.
-Ten Things I Hate About You – Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles.
-And last but not least – and for this I will get a lot of flack – Brokeback Mountain with Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as well as A Single Man with Colin Firth. Yeah, say it and get it over with. I don’t care. I like them because of the writing and the plot and the fact that they are beautifully scripted and expertly directed.
I won’t get into books now but for television series the list is rather short and more consists of missteps than anything else. All the romantic characters in television drama that could have great onscreen relationships usually fizzle and die and I stop watching. JAG immediately comes to mind. There was an opportunity there, much like there is now for Tony and Ziva in the NCIS drama. Bones too is another let down and one I’ve stopped watching.
Producers seem to get cold feet as they think the end of any series is the consummation of the romance, but that isn’t so. The romance actually begins after and that’s the beauty of it. It takes a skilled and brave studio to carry on a series after the characters have gotten together and it is felt that nothing else can happen. I consider the producers spineless and lacking creativity and so they go for the obvious – never make the characters come together, for what will we then write? My response, go find some experienced writers and begin the real relationship.
That takes me back to la Femme Nikita and the never-ending romance of Michael and Nikita and my week of indulgence. This is a show that is a perfect example of how to manage a romance and manage it well.
First there was the question of, Will they get together and does he even like her? Once that was answered in his mumbled-lack-for-words-breathless whispers, we then start thinking, If they do, what will happen? We saw that and finally came the ultimate question, Will they survive and will their love last considering they work for an agency that frowns upon imperfection and considers emotional attachment, debilitating. Their solution should this occur is death. For Michael and Nikita, it was truly a live or die situation and as we saw from many episodes, both characters were more than willing to die for each other or at the very least preserve the other. Of course they both will survive. But despite this, it is perhaps the ending that’s most fulfilling and that left something for the current Nikita producers to take off on. But they failed to do so.
In the end Michael and Nikita still aren’t together; at least not how normal people consider together. At the time of parting their love is evident but duty separates them and they have little choice but to wait. It is the tragedy of their situation that makes their love true.
To understand the obligations of your partner, support it and still love is probably one of the best ways modern couples can show their love. It is why the old fashion notion of the woman taking care of the house and the children while the man works is not so ridiculous if you truly think about it. If love can endure poverty or death or similar grief, then you are set for life. Nothing will break you apart. This is unselfish behaviour and the only way of demonstrating true love.
Someone I went out with once said, you should marry someone who is in love with you. It took me a while to reason this out, but he was right. If we all married people who are in love with us, then for sure we will both love each other. Get it?
This is what the characters in la Femme Nikita portrayed: they were with people they knew loved them. It took Michael a long time to tell Nikita he loved her but he showed it everyday. His lack of expression was a puzzle, for like a typical woman, Nikita held nothing back and was quite happy to tell him countless times that she loved him. But his one wish was for her to be patient. A request for patience in this situation is one that required great faith and belief to know that he had his reasons. I don’t know anyone in real life who would do this.
Mid-way through the series, the reason for Michael’s hesitation was revealed and that sent viewers into a new tizzy. I’m sure he was hated by many but there were a few, including me, who perfectly understood and who knew the characters would get through it because, to say it as simply as it can be said, they had trust and respect for each other, another sign of true love. In one episode when Nikita was rethinking her faith in Michael, he says, ‘You are the one person in the entire world I can trust. Don’t fail me’. In the final episode near the very end, he embraces her and says, ‘I love you’.
So, is the love between the characters of Michael and Nikita the perfect love story? I think so. It’s the best I’ve seen portrayed on any screen, even more than those I’ve listed above. Yeah, yeah. I know you’re asking what about Romeo and Juliet or even Swazy and Moore in Ghost? Michael and Nikita are far better.
Romeo and Juliet died. What kind of crop out is that? Yes, I understand that they can’t live without each other, but to me, living with the hope that one day they would be together would be better. Fake suicide should not have come into it at all. But Shakespeare had little choice if he wanted to portray the tragedy of the day. After all Romeo and Juliet is a sort of ‘literary cautionary tale’ meant to warn that you never know what plots are playing in the background while you fight your battles, which often are unnecessary.
One last thing about Michael and Nikita. Roy Dupuis was not necessarily a good looking actor – unless viewed in a certain light – but he was quite sensual. I won’t say sexy because back then I was never sure about those tight leather pants and looking at them again, I’m thinking, creepy. His mouth’s sort of small and he appears shorter than the 6’ 11” he was supposed to be.
What he had going for him were those eyes and the way he played a romance scene. His ability to maintain and hold eye contact was uncanny – it may be a camera trick, but who cared. And he had a way of angling his head as if to search the deeper meaning.
The character Michael was able to exude desire simply by touching Nikita’s hands. He would lace his through hers and examined their entwined fingers as if he was always amazed that she let him touch her. And whenever he spoke to her in private he was always touching: arm, shoulder, hairline, brown, lips. His movements were seamless and natural and there was no resistance she could offer and often simply melted at his touch.
An aside—the actress who played Nikita was Peta Wilson. She’s not much known as Roy Dupuis except for their native homes. It is my opinion that Peta Wilson is a good actor and I wonder what would have happened if she lived in Hollywood and picked up regular roles there. In la Femme Nikita, her ability to switch emotions while the camera remained fixed on her face was uncanny. She could go from smiling to sad and hurt in a second and it all showed on her face: lips, eyes, angling of the head. Her on film crying is one of the best I’ve seen. Not the bawling or the scrunching of the face, but the fact that her eyes do tear up and around them reddens; or when Michael says something sexy and she blushes, her skin actually flushes. Her emotions were real. She was a clunky girl but then again that was probably the character. Another endearing factor – she was not a size 2.
I don’t know if the characters were created purposely to be as they were or if the writers stumbled on something and decided to go with it. What I have read is that they had very little budget to work with and it required great creativity to come up with something the audience would enjoy. That compares to nowadays actors whose salaries seem to know no boundaries. I think some of the pay is quite ridiculous and when their pays are high, the acting suffers. They feel they are important and people will come to see regardless, so why put out the effort.
For the writers or the director of la Femme Nikita, I like that the sex was never the focus and that there was no direct humping scenes. I like too that it’s Michael who mostly makes the arrangements for them to meet and that the character felt it his duty to provide a safe place and prepare. All she had to do was turn up. That caveman feature will get us girls every time.
If you look at my list above you will see that none of these shows have these sweaty, hot sexy scenes or characters that were constantly jumping in bed. In la Femme Nikiki most of the interactions were foreplay, focusing on the face and shoulders and maybe a back here and there. However, there was one scene where Michael was standing naked by a window and Nikita, also naked joined him. The shot lasted less than 5 seconds and them focused on their faces for the remainder. In other words, it was tastefully done. We are all adults, we can imagine what goes on between two people when they get naked, do we really need to see...all the time? And as is common in these nowadays sitcoms, do they really have to talk about sex in all their episodes, every single one?
I never got into Friends or Grey’s Anatomy or shows like that because everyone sleeps with everyone. When is there time to have great interaction? I’ve never watched it long enough to find out if there’s any. That brings Nurse Hawthorne to mind...I wonder what they’ll come up with this season?
So, in the end, what do I have to say for myself?
I am weird when it comes to love and all that and I believe that the bible had it right. The vows as presented did dictate that if two persons chose to marry, then they better be in love for nothing else will get them past the better or worst phases or even through the years of grief after death. I look differently on people who seek to change the vows. I’m always wondering what are they up to? If you love this person, then why is it so hard to say that at this moment, I will give you my all, I will love and honor you and I will obey. We both are agreeing to the same thing, so what’s so wrong with that? After all, isn’t love supposed to triumph all?
I puke at the mushy, mushy stuff that bear no resemblance to how love develops in real life. Yes, I do believe in love at first sight, or great attraction, but I’m more convinced if love survives life’s tolls and grow into something more solid than the initial reaction.
Over this Easter holiday, I happened upon a story about that 1990s hit, la Femme Nikita...okay, okay, I didn’t happen on it, I went in search of it. I was trying to work out some romantic scenes in Vampire Dawn and something about Michael and Nikita kept nagging at me. I felt the need to see what interaction between the two characters were like in order to decide how my characters would play against each other. (Plus after watching one episode, I find the new Nikita show a failed cliché.)
Before I get back to Michael and Nikita, let me start off by saying that there are very few romantic novels, movies or television shows that I enjoy. Primarily my interest is more dramatic with a bit of action or problem-solving intellect. I like mysteries and crime novels (with or without romance), first person narrative if the narrator is interesting and of, course anything by Stephen King. I never read a romance novel until I was in my 20s.
My list of romantic moments, written or dramatized are:
First a disclaimer: this list is as I can remember right now. It doesn’t mean that there have not been others or that sometime in the near future the list will not change. So here goes:
I think my most favourite movie is The Bridges of Madison County with Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep. It’s the most sensual movie I have ever seen and starring old people at that!
My other favourites, in no particular order are:
-The English Patient – Ralph Fiennes and Juliet Binoche.
-Sixteen Candles - Molly Ringwald and Justin Henry.
-Bend it like Beckham – Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightely and Jonathan Rhys Myers.
-The Princess Bride – Cary Elwes and Robin Wright.
-The Way We Were – Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford.
-The Horse Whisperer – Robert Redford and Kristin Scott Thomas.
-The Wedding Planner – Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey.
-Something New – Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker.
-Angel Eyes – Jennifer Lopez and James Caveizel.
-Mission Impossible II – Tom Cruise and Thandie Newton.
-The Truth about Charlie – Thandie Newton and Mark Wahlberg.
-Anything adapted from Nicholas Sparks pre Nights in Rodantha, such as Message in a Bottle, A Walk to Remember and The Notebook. Anything now is just mush.
-Ten Things I Hate About You – Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles.
-And last but not least – and for this I will get a lot of flack – Brokeback Mountain with Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as well as A Single Man with Colin Firth. Yeah, say it and get it over with. I don’t care. I like them because of the writing and the plot and the fact that they are beautifully scripted and expertly directed.
I won’t get into books now but for television series the list is rather short and more consists of missteps than anything else. All the romantic characters in television drama that could have great onscreen relationships usually fizzle and die and I stop watching. JAG immediately comes to mind. There was an opportunity there, much like there is now for Tony and Ziva in the NCIS drama. Bones too is another let down and one I’ve stopped watching.
Producers seem to get cold feet as they think the end of any series is the consummation of the romance, but that isn’t so. The romance actually begins after and that’s the beauty of it. It takes a skilled and brave studio to carry on a series after the characters have gotten together and it is felt that nothing else can happen. I consider the producers spineless and lacking creativity and so they go for the obvious – never make the characters come together, for what will we then write? My response, go find some experienced writers and begin the real relationship.
That takes me back to la Femme Nikita and the never-ending romance of Michael and Nikita and my week of indulgence. This is a show that is a perfect example of how to manage a romance and manage it well.
First there was the question of, Will they get together and does he even like her? Once that was answered in his mumbled-lack-for-words-breathless whispers, we then start thinking, If they do, what will happen? We saw that and finally came the ultimate question, Will they survive and will their love last considering they work for an agency that frowns upon imperfection and considers emotional attachment, debilitating. Their solution should this occur is death. For Michael and Nikita, it was truly a live or die situation and as we saw from many episodes, both characters were more than willing to die for each other or at the very least preserve the other. Of course they both will survive. But despite this, it is perhaps the ending that’s most fulfilling and that left something for the current Nikita producers to take off on. But they failed to do so.
In the end Michael and Nikita still aren’t together; at least not how normal people consider together. At the time of parting their love is evident but duty separates them and they have little choice but to wait. It is the tragedy of their situation that makes their love true.
To understand the obligations of your partner, support it and still love is probably one of the best ways modern couples can show their love. It is why the old fashion notion of the woman taking care of the house and the children while the man works is not so ridiculous if you truly think about it. If love can endure poverty or death or similar grief, then you are set for life. Nothing will break you apart. This is unselfish behaviour and the only way of demonstrating true love.
Someone I went out with once said, you should marry someone who is in love with you. It took me a while to reason this out, but he was right. If we all married people who are in love with us, then for sure we will both love each other. Get it?
This is what the characters in la Femme Nikita portrayed: they were with people they knew loved them. It took Michael a long time to tell Nikita he loved her but he showed it everyday. His lack of expression was a puzzle, for like a typical woman, Nikita held nothing back and was quite happy to tell him countless times that she loved him. But his one wish was for her to be patient. A request for patience in this situation is one that required great faith and belief to know that he had his reasons. I don’t know anyone in real life who would do this.
Mid-way through the series, the reason for Michael’s hesitation was revealed and that sent viewers into a new tizzy. I’m sure he was hated by many but there were a few, including me, who perfectly understood and who knew the characters would get through it because, to say it as simply as it can be said, they had trust and respect for each other, another sign of true love. In one episode when Nikita was rethinking her faith in Michael, he says, ‘You are the one person in the entire world I can trust. Don’t fail me’. In the final episode near the very end, he embraces her and says, ‘I love you’.
So, is the love between the characters of Michael and Nikita the perfect love story? I think so. It’s the best I’ve seen portrayed on any screen, even more than those I’ve listed above. Yeah, yeah. I know you’re asking what about Romeo and Juliet or even Swazy and Moore in Ghost? Michael and Nikita are far better.
Romeo and Juliet died. What kind of crop out is that? Yes, I understand that they can’t live without each other, but to me, living with the hope that one day they would be together would be better. Fake suicide should not have come into it at all. But Shakespeare had little choice if he wanted to portray the tragedy of the day. After all Romeo and Juliet is a sort of ‘literary cautionary tale’ meant to warn that you never know what plots are playing in the background while you fight your battles, which often are unnecessary.
One last thing about Michael and Nikita. Roy Dupuis was not necessarily a good looking actor – unless viewed in a certain light – but he was quite sensual. I won’t say sexy because back then I was never sure about those tight leather pants and looking at them again, I’m thinking, creepy. His mouth’s sort of small and he appears shorter than the 6’ 11” he was supposed to be.
What he had going for him were those eyes and the way he played a romance scene. His ability to maintain and hold eye contact was uncanny – it may be a camera trick, but who cared. And he had a way of angling his head as if to search the deeper meaning.
The character Michael was able to exude desire simply by touching Nikita’s hands. He would lace his through hers and examined their entwined fingers as if he was always amazed that she let him touch her. And whenever he spoke to her in private he was always touching: arm, shoulder, hairline, brown, lips. His movements were seamless and natural and there was no resistance she could offer and often simply melted at his touch.
An aside—the actress who played Nikita was Peta Wilson. She’s not much known as Roy Dupuis except for their native homes. It is my opinion that Peta Wilson is a good actor and I wonder what would have happened if she lived in Hollywood and picked up regular roles there. In la Femme Nikita, her ability to switch emotions while the camera remained fixed on her face was uncanny. She could go from smiling to sad and hurt in a second and it all showed on her face: lips, eyes, angling of the head. Her on film crying is one of the best I’ve seen. Not the bawling or the scrunching of the face, but the fact that her eyes do tear up and around them reddens; or when Michael says something sexy and she blushes, her skin actually flushes. Her emotions were real. She was a clunky girl but then again that was probably the character. Another endearing factor – she was not a size 2.
I don’t know if the characters were created purposely to be as they were or if the writers stumbled on something and decided to go with it. What I have read is that they had very little budget to work with and it required great creativity to come up with something the audience would enjoy. That compares to nowadays actors whose salaries seem to know no boundaries. I think some of the pay is quite ridiculous and when their pays are high, the acting suffers. They feel they are important and people will come to see regardless, so why put out the effort.
For the writers or the director of la Femme Nikita, I like that the sex was never the focus and that there was no direct humping scenes. I like too that it’s Michael who mostly makes the arrangements for them to meet and that the character felt it his duty to provide a safe place and prepare. All she had to do was turn up. That caveman feature will get us girls every time.
If you look at my list above you will see that none of these shows have these sweaty, hot sexy scenes or characters that were constantly jumping in bed. In la Femme Nikiki most of the interactions were foreplay, focusing on the face and shoulders and maybe a back here and there. However, there was one scene where Michael was standing naked by a window and Nikita, also naked joined him. The shot lasted less than 5 seconds and them focused on their faces for the remainder. In other words, it was tastefully done. We are all adults, we can imagine what goes on between two people when they get naked, do we really need to see...all the time? And as is common in these nowadays sitcoms, do they really have to talk about sex in all their episodes, every single one?
I never got into Friends or Grey’s Anatomy or shows like that because everyone sleeps with everyone. When is there time to have great interaction? I’ve never watched it long enough to find out if there’s any. That brings Nurse Hawthorne to mind...I wonder what they’ll come up with this season?
So, in the end, what do I have to say for myself?
I am weird when it comes to love and all that and I believe that the bible had it right. The vows as presented did dictate that if two persons chose to marry, then they better be in love for nothing else will get them past the better or worst phases or even through the years of grief after death. I look differently on people who seek to change the vows. I’m always wondering what are they up to? If you love this person, then why is it so hard to say that at this moment, I will give you my all, I will love and honor you and I will obey. We both are agreeing to the same thing, so what’s so wrong with that? After all, isn’t love supposed to triumph all?
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