After 2 weeks of vacation, I went back to work Thursday. Bad idea. I should have taken the additional 2 days. My mind was all over the place and there was a lot waiting. There's no one to do anything while I'm off and because of this, things just sit around for my arrival. It can be daunting and it means spending a lot of time catching up. I have no clue what I'm doing from moment to moment. But I've gotten some things done and they were important things - all was not lost.
I'll probably be in the same frame of mind on Monday but able to produce work. I'm like a drunk who is always intoxicated and learns to work while heavily influenced. You know the type. Sober him up and he don't know left from right, but pour a few shots down his throat and he's a genius. Yep, that's me - working on sub-pilot.
Changes are coming, I can feel it. I don't know if I'm ready for that but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do regardless. Despite the bleak, troublesome future, I am willing to deal with what may. I might not enjoy or welcome it, but I'll deal with it. What choice do I have?
This weekend I hope to write and fix up story beginnings to enter some RWA competitions. Maybe something will come of that. I'm hopeful because I'm excited about some of the stories I have to work on. So hopeful in fact, that I can't pour the words on the page fast enough and get frustrated and stop. But then I force myself to go back. Also have to be careful of the temptation to work on more than one stories and none get finished. That can be a trap within itself. Not that I can't jot down some words if something comes to me, but I must avoid working on a distraction for days before it occurs to me, that's not the story I should be doing.
The last time I wrote, I said I was going to take the bull by the horn and look at publishing my own stories. Well, I've started planning to do just that. It's early days, but so far so good. I'm not scared to death yet and am taking it one day at a time.
I had a weird dream last night. I was driving my daughter somewhere and ended up downtown -- which in Jamaica is not always a good place to be. First we were driving and then we were walking with a whole lot of bags, as if the car broke down, but I can't be sure. I stop to buy something and am trying to maneuver the bags between us when a man offers to help. I tell him no, but somehow between switching bags, he ended up with a blouse I was carrying. He walks with us up and over this bridge and the next thing I know, he is ahead of us and moving too fast. I shout out to him and he begins running. I try to give chase but I have a bum knee -- I really do -- and can't move fast enough. My daughter is not moving very fast either although I'm thinking she's younger than me and should be able to run. So we start screaming 'thief! thief!'. People hear and 2 young men give chase. The man throws the blouse in the park and runs in a different direction. Then he's not a man, but a woman. She falls in the road. A girl comes from nowhere and drags her up and they run off and escape. We go back to retrieve the blouse but find we are behind this low wall. I'm panicked because I want to get back to the place he threw the blouse and retrieve it. For some reason, I thought it important though I made the blouse. I'm telling my daughter to jump down but she's afraid of the height and I begin to get annoyed. Just as we're about to jump down, I wake with a massive headache. I wish if someone could tell me what this means.
I should add that the bridge we walk up and over, has been recurring in my dreams for years. It's always the same bridge, in the same area but usually coming from somewhere different and leading to different things. Weird, huh?
Till later....
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